All Because of Alice
by carsonists
Summary: When Alice gets a song stuck in Edward's head, they continue to spread it to everyone who passes by. But why won't it get stuck in Bella's head? What will happen when they go to a Coldplay concert? Why have Victoria, James and Laurent come back to life?
1. Alice gets a song stuck in her head

All because of Alice

**Edward's POV **

I was sitting in my room catching up on my science homework (which was easy because I had already done it about seven or eight times), when I heard Alice shout mentally, _Edward, would you come here and help me with something?_

I figured it was something to do with whether she should wear a dress or a skirt, so I went down stairs to the dining room to tell her to ask Rosalie, because I'm the only one in the family (even though we're technically a coven) with the ability to mind read.

Alice said, "Edward, please help me get _Viva la Vida _out of my head."

"No, Alice I'm just going to leave now. Ask someone else." I answered, quickly so as not to get it stuck it my head.

But, just as I was about to leave, I heard her thoughts, _For some reason I can't explain, once you go there was never, never an honest word, and that was when I ruled the world. (…) People couldn't believe what I've become. Revolutionary's wait (…) For some reason I can't explain, I know Saint Peter will call my name. (…) But that was when I ruled the world. (…) For some reason I can't explain, I know Saint Peter will call my name. (…) but that was when I ruled the world._

"Shoot, Alice! Now it's stuck in my head!" I complained.

"Wanna lie down with our hands over our eyes?" She asked.

"Fine," We both lay down.

"Why do I feel extreme annoyance emanating from this room?" Jasper asked us, "And why are you two lying on the floor?"

"Well," I began, "Alice told me to come down here, so I did and then she got _Viva la Vida_ stuck in my head."

"Oh, I'll just leave then," Jasper decided. But then Alice asked me mentally, _Shall I get it stuck in his head?_

"Yes," I breathed. 

"For some reason I can't explain, once you go there was never, never an honest word, and that was when I ruled the world. (…) People couldn't believe what I've become. Revolutionary's wait (…) For some reason I can't explain, I know Saint Peter will call my name. (…) But that was when I ruled the world. (…) For some reason I can't explain, I know Saint Peter will call my name. (…) but that was when I ruled the world," She sang.

"Alice! Now you got it stuck in my head," Jasper wailed.

"That was the point," She smiled. Jasper abruptly lay down next to us and put his hand over his eyes.

Just then, my beautiful girlfriend, Bella walked in, "Edward? Why are you three lying on the floor?"

"Well, Bella love, Alice told me to come down here, so I did, and then she got _Viva la Vida _stuck in my head. Then Jasper came in and Alice got it stuck in his head," I answered.

"_Viva la Vida_?" Bella asked, "I love that song!"

"Alice?" I asked.

"For some reason I can't explain, once you go there was never, never an honest word, and that was when I ruled the world. (…) People couldn't believe what I've become. Revolutionary's wait (…) For some reason I can't explain, I know Saint Peter will call my name. (…) But that was when I ruled the world. (…) For some reason I can't explain, I know Saint Peter will call my name. (…) but that was when I ruled the world," She sang.

"Yes, that's the song! I love it! I heard it on the radio, and now I can't get enough of it!" Bella exclaimed.

"But, isn't it stuck in your head now?" I asked, confused.

"No, that's why I can't get enough of it; I want to get it stuck in my head."

"Oh, shoot! It must be one of those songs that can only get stuck in vampires' heads." I was extremely angry by this time, but before I could pointlessly take it out on something that I would regret later, Jasper sent a wave of calm my way.


	2. Alice tricks Carlisle

**AN: Thanks to xEdwardCullen4everx for reviewing! I liked the feed back. Anyways, on with the chapter now.**

**EPOV:**

Bella sat down on the couch, waiting for Alice to sing _Viva la Vida_ again, I guessed. She didn't have to wait long, because Carlisle came in, "Hello, Bella. Do you know why Alice, Edward and Jasper are lying on the floor?"

"Hello, Carlisle," she answered, "I think Edward can explain it better than I can; why don't you ask him?"

"Well, Carlisle," I started, "Alice asked me to come down here, so I did. Then she got _Viva la Vida_ stuck in my head, so since we were annoyed, we lay down on the floor with our hands over our eyes. After that, Jasper came in and Alice got Viva la Vida stuck in his head too. Then, Bella came in and Alice tried and failed to get Viva la Vida stuck in her head, so she sat down on the couch. That's when you came in."

"For some reason I can't explain, once you go there was never, never an honest word, and that was when I ruled the world. (…) People couldn't believe what I've become. Revolutionary's way (…) for some reason I can't explain, I know Saint Peter will call my name. (…) But that was when I ruled the world. (…) For some reason I can't explain, I know Saint Peter will call my name. (…) but that was when I ruled the world," Alice sang.

"Alice!" Carlisle yelled, "What have I told you about getting songs stuck in other people's heads?"

"Don't get songs stuck in other people's heads unless they ask me to," Alice recited in a dull monotone.

"Exactly right!" Carlisle boomed, "Oh, and Alice?"

"Yeah?" Alice answered.

"That was a rhetorical question."

Carlisle asked my Bella to move over. She obliged and soon Carlisle was lying on our long couch with his hands over his eyes.

"Carlisle, I have a question about the no-getting-songs-stuck-in-other-people's-heads-unless-they-ask-me-to rule," Alice informed Carlisle.

"That's nice," Carlisle mumbled.

"No, really, I have a question!"

Carlisle sighed, "What is your question, Alice?"

"No, its okay, I won't ask it," Alice replied slyly. _Ha! _Alice thought, _Carlisle will fall for my trap! He'll get curious and actually want to know! _Her eyes grew wide. _Edward, please don't ruin this for me! _She pleaded.

"I won't," I answered her thought.

"Won't what?" Jasper asked suspiciously.

"I won't ever get this song out of my head," I lied. "Alice asked me if I'd ever get it out because apparently, a werewolf is coming over later; she can't see if we do or not."

"Alice, just ask the question," Carlisle sighed exasperatedly.

"No, I can wait."

"Just ask it."

"Nope," Alice popped the 'p'.

"I want to know," Carlisle assured Alice.

"Okay, okay fine, I will. I wanted to know if I could try to get it in Bella's head because she wants me to."

"But we're all in here so that'd make it so we'd have _Viva la Vida_ stuck in our heads for that much longer!" Carlisle complained.

"That was the point, but I guess I can't sing it to Bella?"

"No, you can't."

Alice sighed and started humming Viva la Vida. Everyone present groaned.

**AN: Sorry this isn't longer; I don't think I can manage 200 more words let alone 500. I probably could, but then I couldn't update today and I want to.**


	3. Alice laughs at Edward

**AN: Sorry I took so long! I started this story on a 3 day week end, but now I'm back at school so I won't be updating as often. Sorry! Also, I noticed last chapter that it was not really centered on Edward, more around Alice. So this chapter's in Alice's POV!**

**Disclaimer that I forgot in the past two chapters: I don't own Twilight! Stephenie Meyer does!**

**APOV:**

Since I was humming _Viva la Vida_, I didn't hear it when Jacob Black entered the room. "What is this," he asked, "lie on the floor day?"

"No," I answered, "I got _Viva la Vida_ stuck in everyone's head here except for Carlisle and Bella."

"Oh," Jacob mumbled.

"For some reason I can't explain, once you go there was never, never an honest word, and that was when I ruled the world. (…) People couldn't believe what I've become. Revolutionary's way (…) for some reason I can't explain, I know Saint Peter will call my―" just then I was rudely interrupted by Carlisle.

"Alice! I just told you not to get songs stuck in people's –vampire's- heads!"

"But Carlisle, Jacob isn't a vampire!"

"That is true, but I am a vampire."

"And?" I asked, puzzled.

"_And_ you just got it stuck in_ my_ head!" He said exasperatedly.

"Oops," I mouthed.

"Wait," Jacob interjected, "You were trying to get _Viva la Vida_ stuck in my head?"

"Yes I was. Why?"

"You didn't get it stuck in my head."

"Dang," I sighed. "Oh! You're a werewolf, that's why! I forgot it could only get stuck in vampire's heads."

"Alice! You got Viva la Vida stuck in my hand for no reason! I could understand if you actually got it in Jacob's head, but you didn't!" Carlisle shouted at the top of his lungs.

"Carlisle, that hurt my ears," I whined. "You didn't have to yell. Why are you so grumpy?"

"I think," Edward answered my question, "That Carlisle hasn't hunted recently. Am I right?"

Carlisle nodded and left to go hunting. When I complained to Esme about being bored, she randomly suggested baking cookies. I refused, why would I want to make cookies? It was then that I had the vision.

**[A/N: Alice's vision is in Italics]**

_[Start vision:]_

_James, Victoria and Laurent were walking toward our house. They had a curious look on their faces. James asked Victoria, "Is that _Viva la Vida _I hear inside the Cullen's house?"_

_She answered, "How am I supposed to know what you hear?"_

_Laurent rolled his bright crimson eyes._

_[End vision]_

"GUYS! GUYS! VICTORIA, JAMES AND LAURENT HAVE RANDOMLY RISEN FROM THE DEAD! On a less important note, they're coming to our house," I shouted.

"Alice, why is it less important that they are coming to our house? When are they coming? I haven't dusted in ages…." Esme trailed off.

I rolled my eyes. _Typical Esme, our arch enemies have randomly risen from the dead and all she cares about is dusting,_ I thought. Edward snickered. Everyone turned to look at him. If he were human, he would have blushed, "What? Alice thought something funny! It's not my fault," he muttered.

"What exactly did Alice think?" Jazz asked suspiciously.

"Her exact thought was, '_Typical Esme, our arch enemies have randomly risen from the dead and all she cares about is dusting_', told you it was funny!"

Nobody laughed. Everyone continued to stare at Edward. He stared back. I burst out laughing. "What?" Edward asked.

"That wasn't funny," Bella stated.

"Not at all," agreed Esme.

"Nope," Jasper added.

"Not at all, leech," Jacob said, still staring at Edward.

"Yeah, I laughed for the same reason you always laugh in a staring contest; it just gets funny if you stare at someone too long," I snickered.

Edward sighed, "I guess I'm the only one that thought it was funny."

"I thought it was funny, Daddy," Renesmee mumbled quietly.

"Thanks, Nessie," Edward told Renesmee fondly.

She just smiled up at him kindly.

**A/N: There! All done! Hope you enjoyed that. Oh yeah, at the beginning, when it says, "when Jacob Black entered the room" you might've gotten confused, this takes place after Breaking Dawn. 589 words, (not including A/N's) you'd better be happy. I might have continued, but I thought this would be a good place to stop. Review and I'll give you your choice of virtual Cheese-its, virtual Oreos, or virtual pie. I repeat, review!!!**


	4. Alice is obsessed with pies

**A/N: I'm amazed that so many people have found my story way in the ―what, 120's― back of the archives. Sorry I took like 4 months to update. I have lots of homework. And camp and things. Oh yeah, this is an alternate universe where Renesmee gets born, but Bella doesn't turn into a vampire. I forgot to mention that…**

**Disclaimer: I own my laptop. I also own a space heater (not Jacob). I do not, however, own Twilight. Stephanie Meyer does. **

**APOV:**

Now that I listened, I could hear― aside from _Viva la Vida_― someone, Laurent? Saying something like, "Come on, pies, we don't _really_ have to go, do we?"

Wait- pies? That can't be right. He must've said 'guys', not 'pies'. I shook my head. Pies….

I listened harder, "Laurent," Victoria said (I thought), "We aren't pies. Did you mean 'guys'?"

"Oops," Laurent mumbled, "Yeah, I meant 'guys'. Pies…."

I burst out laughing; if they weren't evil and about to kill us, I could grow to like them. Edward joined in.

"What?" Bella asked.

"We heard Victoria and Laurent having a funny conversation, that's all, love," Edward assured her.

"That reminds me!" I shouted.

"What does it remind you of, my little pixie?" Jasper asked lovingly.

He must be picking lust up from Edward; he never called me his little pixie.

"Jasper?" I asked with my right eyebrow raised.

"Sorry, _somebody_," He glared at Edward, "is feeling too much lust."

"Sorry! Well, actually, I'm not sorry, but you get the― never mind," Edward rambled.

"Anyway," I interrupted, "Edward reminded me that we should go to a Coldplay concert!"

"How did you get that from, 'we heard Victoria and Laurent having a funny conversation, that's all, love'?" Edward asked incredulously.

"Well, you said 'love' and that reminded me of pie, because I used to love pie. Pie reminded me of Victoria and Laurent's conversation. That, in turn, reminded me of _Viva la Vida_, which reminded me of Coldplay. Coldplay reminded me that they're going to have a concert soon!" I smiled proudly.

"Huh," Edward said, impressed (or as least he sounded impressed to me).

**A/N: Ok. I know this is really short but it's better than nothing, right? I have writers block so review with ideas!! (really, do, I need help…)**


	5. The Disastrous Concert

**Me: Yay! I'm updating!**

**Fang: ****(sarcastic) Nooo… **

**Me: :P Well I am. I was on my profile and realized I haven't updated since January… So―**

**Fang: Get on with it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. **

**Note: I haven't read Twilight in a while. Everyone's out of character I think… Sorry.**

**APOV:**

"I'm not that impressed Alice," Edward answered my thoughts.

I stuck my tongue out at him. He rolled his eyes. I tried to punch him, but failed because had read my thoughts and dodged.

My breath caught in my throat as I started to have a vision: _Edward, angered, punched me back so hard that I fainted. I didn't know vampires could faint…._

I couldn't let that happen! When Edward pulled his arm back to punch me, I jumped up and landed behind him. _Edward, _I thought, _you are _way _too violent today. I don't think you should go to the concert later today._

Edward sighed. "Sorry, Alice. I guess I haven't hunted recently. Bella and I can go. Then you and Jasper can go to the Coldplay concert as a date."

"Hmm… Okay!" I jumped up and down; I was excited.

"Let's go!" I shouted and Bella and Edward left to go hunting.

I grabbed Jasper around the wrist and pulled him toward the door, "Come on Jasper! The concert starts soon!"

As we got to the garage, I pulled him over to my Porsche.

"Come on," I told him, "We're taking my Porsche."

"Do you see me arguing?" He asked.

"No, I guess not. Let's go!"

I climbed into the driver's seat and Jasper got into the passenger's seat. I pulled out and zoomed off to the concert at 120 mph.

When we got there, there were three people at the ticket counter, seemingly holding up the line. The leader of the three had flaming red hair.

I gasped. It was Victoria!

Jasper registered my surprise and pulled me through the line to the front, ignoring the yelps of compliant from fellow concert-goers. He apologized to the ticket lady and ripped the three nomad's heads off in turn.

He ignored the lady's scream and threw the heads followed by the rest of their bodies into a conveniently placed bonfire/ large torch.

"Boy, you just can't kill people like you used to?" He commented, quoting Fang from a parallel universe called "The Maximum Ride Series".

"No, guess not," I answered and we continued into the concert.

Fortunately for us, the majority of the crowd was scared off by Jasper's lapse in secrecy, so we got front row seats.

We must have waited twenty minutes or more before we realized that the members of Coldplay had been scared off too. Bummer.

Jasper and I headed back to the car and then drove home.

When we got there, the family was having a heated discussion in the living room. When they saw us, they told us to pack up our stuff. Apparently, Jasper's lapse of secrecy meant that we had to move again.

"Jasper, Jasper, Jasper… what am I going to do with you?" I sighed.

"Hey, it's not really _my _fault."

"Of course it is Jasper," I snapped.

"No, if you hadn't gotten _Viva la Vida _stuck in our heads, we wouldn't have gone to the concert, and if we hadn't gone to the concert, I wouldn't have revealed that we aren't human and we wouldn't have to move."

Everyone stared in shock at Jasper, but then nodded in agreement.

"It's all because of Alice." Jasper finished.

**Me: Yay! It's done! WOOO!**

**Fang: … that was **_**really **_**different than the other chapters…**

**Me: Meh, I guess. But I wanted to end it and so yeah… I just wrote whatever came to mind. Sorry everyone was OOC. I couldn't be bothered to fix it… Heh. Oh! Also, PLEASE vote on my poll if you haven't already. I NEED a nickname thing….**

**~TDSW and Fang**


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